Singleton

Even before I moved to HI, I had more than my fair share of love disasters and while I wrote this late last week, thought I would post it regardless. I have discovered more information about my most recent crush, which thankfully to my mind’s delight, I have “gotten over” and ended a two date disaster. It did not go so well but I am proud that I at least called to tell me I didn’t think we were going to be romantic. He hung up on me, then called me back and sent me 3 texts that night. Wow! Glad I went with my gut and “cleaned my slate”…I could definitely use the good dating karma…. anyways, with this I must say that although I love HI dearly, this island is full of crazy’s (including me some would say). Since Mr. Right is MIA, I would be happy with Mr. Maybe! Any takers out there? Hey, I don’t think this is settling. Are you willing to give it a go, I sure am. A real shot, too! I am fed up with the opposite sex but don’t want to turn into one of those people who gives up either. Am I really destined to be alone? Is it me? Is it them? Does this even matter? Am I to wake up every morning and stretch out over the entire bed left to cuddle a pillow instead of warm flesh? I am feeling the result of a schoolgirl crush rush that leads to desperation and temporarily mental madness…. encased in cloudiness and the realization that maybe I wont find someone. Contrary to what my friends would say, I do not settle and I will not settle with someone. Then I wonder is this temporary? What if five, ten years down the road, I comprise, I give in, or just no longer care? Will it be to late then? If I comprise then why not now so that I can have the things I think I might want…like a possibility of a family. Luckily I still have a good 3 or 4 years, I think to sort this out but these thoughts still weigh on me. For now, I think I am done with guys (throwing hands up in the air). It’s too much energy! I have other things that I need to concentrate on…like working out so I can fit into half of my wardrobe, finding a new job, and completing my online teaching class. Yeah!